Saturday 9 August 2014

Bellgrove

As introductions to a city go, my first visit to Glasgow could arguably have been a little less dramatic. I was touring my music across Scotland, we hit Edinburgh first then on to Aberdeen, Inverness and finishing up in Glasgow. Personalities in my touring party clashed, the car we were using broke down in Inverness, tensions were high and by the time I hit the stage, in a venue located in railway arches south of the Clyde, the shit had truly hit the fan. My driver had left to “calm down” and my best friend has walked off into the night. One of the artists that had performed at the gig came back after a quick search of the surrounding streets and informed me that a one eyed drunk Glaswegian had seen my best friend walking towards the centre of town – we know this because he had apparently said “did sh‘ave big boobies?”. That’s her. We eventually found her in the Glasgow branch of the Samaritans. It was a big deal but as I’m British I thought I’d be able to fix everything with a sit down and a cup of tea. The driver turned up and so the tension returned. I later discovered that a man coming out of an AA meeting had spotted my friend, very obviously upset, and had accompanied her to the Samaritans office.

The following morning I found a note in my jeans pocket as I was getting dressed. The following moments are crystal clear in my head. I told the friend we were staying with to call the police, I then ran down the tenement building stairs and spent several panicked minutes, half in my pyjamas, running around Duke Street in search of my best friend. She’d decided it was time for everything to stop. I’ve written about this before but I still find it upsetting. I found my friend the same time as the police. I managed to convince the police that it wasn’t necessary to send her to hospital and requested that the driver return to Wales without us. We needed some time to recover.

Several months later I eventually wrote a song called Bellgrove which documents the remainder of that day. It’s named after the railway station where my friend had intended to visit... permanently. I think the song reflects exactly how I feel about Glasgow and it is a love letter of sorts. Over those two days it really felt like the city and its people were looking out for us.

Clanadonia - the band referenced in the song.

I keep the suicide note in my purse. It’s with me everywhere I go. It’s there to remind me that even in the most desperate moments you can pull through. It reminds me that Glasgow didn’t let go and neither did we.

You can listen to Bellgrove below and download it here:


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